A Timeless Attraction
by LJPhilpy
Summary: Sorry I've not updated in a while I've no internet in ma new house : . Time travel, heart ache, romance and all that. set in OotF. AU. HG/MM femeslash, DON'T LIKE IT DON'T READ IT.
1. A Stitch in Time

A/N: I don't own them just play with them. this hasn't been beta'd cause I don't have one so all mistakes I apologise for. it will also be quite long eventually however atm I'm supposed to be studying for an exam in 2 days so don't know when it will be updated. let me know what you think of it?

Hermione ran as fast as she could to the transfiguration classroom and hoped that it was still the same. She got some odd looks from people, people she had never seen before.. This was getting strange. The castle looked to be in better shape than it had only hours before. She had just woken up finding herself lying face down at the bottom of a set of stairs that only a few students ever used. As she headed towards her most trusted professors class room she failed to notice that the portraits on the walls were not as they were mere hours earlier when she left her first lesson.

She had looked for Harry and Ron but failed to find them anywhere, and when she had tried to gain entrance to Gryffindor tower the fat lady was no where in sight. Only one thing left for it and that was to seek out McGonagall and find out what the hell was going on.

Reaching the door she knocked and waited. There was no response. McGonagall was always in here after dinner what was going on? There was quick footsteps behind her and turning on the spot she found an elder wand held inches in front of her nose.

"Who are you? What are you doing in this castle? And how did you get in?" the owner of the wand asked still his face hidden in the shadows. She knew that voice but there was something odd it sounded, younger.

"Headmaster, sir is that you?" Hermione tried to ascertain if her assumption was right.

"Headmaster, alas I am afraid not that would be Professor Dippet. Yet you still have failed to answer my question you lady?" Albus Dumbledore replied stepping out the shadow.

Hermione gasped, the Dumbledore that stepped towards her had the same twinkle in his eye, the same crooked nose, the same half moon glasses yet his beard was shorter and not the silver she was used to it was a chestnut brown. His lines and wrinkles were gone. He looked at least 40 maybe 50 years younger. She fainted.

When she came round she was lying on a camping cot next to a warm fire in what she knew as McGonagall's office. She stirred and turned to look towards the desk.

"Ah you are awake. Gave me quite a scare." Dumbledore had taken on his old demeanour once again. "I found this round your neck." He held up a thin chain with a small, cracked hourglass. "and I believe I have come to understand what has happened."

"Oh no. This can't be happening. I have exams to take in 2 days." Hermione couldn't help but let the tears fall.

"I do not believe that is the case Miss..." He waited on an answer.

"Granger, professor. Hermione Ganger." She whimpered out through tears.

"Well Miss Granger it appears that you actually have around 55 years to wait until the day of your exam give or take."

Hermione's tears fell faster and harder than she thought possible. This could not have been happening. Time travel and without any chance of getting back. What would the Ministry do? Lock her up? Or even worse kill her. They of course couldn't allow her to live in these times. She would be a liability. She could change anything she wasted or predict the future. She could prevent regrettable events, kill Tom Riddle, save Harry's parents.

Gathering her thoughts she sat up on the cot, wiped her teary eyes and turned back to Dumbledore. "Professor, please don't let them get a old of me. The Ministry I mean. They will lock me up without anyone to talk to or worse. I know you professor well I will know you and I know that you wouldn't approve of it. Please Sir." She was in tears again by the end of it.

"My dear girl. I will do nothing of the sort. You are correct I do not approve of what the Ministry would do if they discovered this. But first I need you to tell me where you are from and the events that lead to you being here. But bear in mind you can not allow me any information of great importance. I will find a way to get you out of here my dear, but for the moment I have a plan." Dumbledore replied.

Hermione sat there telling Dumbledore what had happened to her. Well what she could remember. Falling down the stairs and waking up. And all she would think wouldn't alter the future. After she had finished Dumbledore sat back in his chair, took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Miss Granger, Hermione, from now on I need you think of yourself as Holly Granger. I is the start of term here we shall place you into the Gryffindor house under this name, saying you started your education at Beaux Batton. I shall call for the head girl, a Gryffindor I might add to get you accustomed to the school as it is today. However you appear to be someone who would have knowledge of this castle I myself have not discovered yet." At this Hermione looked away and blushed. "Ah I can see I'm correct in my observations." He chuckled. "I will explain to the headmaster that I received the letter from your parents and it completely slipped my mind. And of course I put great trust in you to not mention a word of this to anyone. Is that clear?" He peered over his glasses at the young girl before her.

"Thank you Professor, I won't let you down. Now or in the future. You will see." She couldn't help the little tit bit for her headmaster at the end. She knew that of all people Albus Dumbledore would be intrigued and know of it's sincerity.

Just then there was a knock at the door, a tall, slim girl with long flowing dark hair, emerald green eyes and a head girl badge attached to her tartan dressing gown entered. Hermione's breath caught in her throat. She was stunning. Unbelievably beautiful.

"Holly, this is Minerva McGonagall, our head girl and proud Gryffindor. She will help you orientate yourself with the school." Dumbledore spotted the unease that had grown over Hermione's face and continued to speak but this time to Minerva. "Could you wait outside for a moment we are just finishing up in here." He turned back to Hermione. "Am I to believe that you know Minerva Miss Granger?"

"Well yes. Sir I do not believe that this will affect anything." She paused, "but then again it might." She wanted to tell him who this girl would turn out to be.

"Hermione, do you trust me?"

It was a simple question that Hermione would have no problem giving a swift honest response to. "Of course Professor, with my life in fact."

Dumbledore continued, " Well in that case I will permit you to tell me things of which you should not, things that could change the future, regardless of how sensitive the issue may be, how catastrophic the outcomes are to events that have occurred in your passed and in my future. And you have my word," pausing to emphasis this, "You have my word I will do nothing to change the course of the future."

Hermione sat there in contemplation for a few moments. "I will allow myself to tell you things that may arise during my time here that may prove to be a problem in the here and now, but as much a s I trust and believe you there are certain things that even a man as great as you should not have looming over them for many many years knowing you could stop them."

Dumbledore nodded with complete understanding on his face.

Hermione continued, "Minerva McGonagall, will in the future replace you as Transfiguration teacher and head of Gryffindor house. It will be strange to know her as a teenager only two years older than me."

Dumbledore nodded again. "In that case I will allow you to leave and get acquainted with Minerva, and not Professor McGonagall."

Hermione stood, bowed her head slightly, said a good night to Dumbledore and stepped into the hall to meet Minerva. Feeling like this was the strangest dream or more the most extraordinary opportunity anyone could be given.


	2. meeting your acquaintance

A/N: Okay so in my great wisdom I was compelled to write more when my Human Resource textbooks was just so bloody boring.

"Holly isn't it?" Hermione nodded. "Okay, I'm Minerva, pleased to meet you." She held her hand out, Hermione took it and shook it firmly.

"Pleased to meet you too, Prof... Minerva." Hermione realizing the odd look on Minerva's face thought she better cover her slip. "Sorry it's just that we had a professor at my last school called Minerva." Minerva nodded and appeared to be happy to accept the excuse.

"As long it doesn't become a habit." Minerva chuckled.

Hermione couldn't believe it Minerva McGonagall actually chuckled. What on earth had happened to this girl to turn her into the strict professor she was in her time? Well apart from 40 yeas of teaching misbehaving children. That couldn't be all there was too it, she just had to find out. This was going to be interesting Hermione thought to herself at least she would have a project to work on.

"So this is the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. We call him the grumpy monk." Minerva pointed towards as she spoke. "The password at the moment is snitch, we won the quiditch cup last year so we're still on a quiditch high." She chuckled again and smiled proudly. "Do you play quiditch? We lost two of our chasers, graduated last year. I'm captain of the team, keeper, three years running now."

"No I don't play, sorry. Love to watch though. Don't feel to safe on a broom." Hermione admitted with a shy smile.

"Well we'll have to change that won't we?" Minerva was grinning at her now. Hermione couldn't believe her eyes. "You have the perfect build for a chaser." She continued and gently run her hand over Hermione's arm. "I could take you up on my broom get you used to it. Maybe get you used to the feeling then see how you fair on you own?"

"Oh I wouldn't want you to go out of your way." Hermione returned amazed that Minerva appeared to have taken an immediate liking to her.

"Don't be silly if I'm right, and I usually am, you will make a fantastic chaser." Minerva's eyes were twinkling as she spoke. "Anyway enough of quiditch for now. Through the portrait hole we go." She held her hand out to help Hermione through.

Once inside she felt at home. It appeared that they hadn't changed a thing. She looked around a smile growing on her face. "This place is wonderful." She breathed.

"Yes it is. Now, this is the common room." Minerva appeared to have pushed her chest out slightly, her very ample chest, in much the same manner as Percy Weasly always did when he spoke as Head Boy. "We tend to spend most of our time in here." She continued to point out all the things that Hermione had become accustomed to in the room.

"So where is my dorm Minerva?" Hermione asked as it appeared Minerva had finished without telling her.

"Well, about that." Minerva was looking rather nervous at answering. "Because you're letter was received late there are no free rooms. So I hope you don't mind but the only place we could put you was in the Head Girl dorm with me." Minerva looked for any sign that there would be any issue.

Hermione smiled to herself. This couldn't have been any better. Getting to know the real McGonagall and being the only two in the room. "No. I don't have a problem with that. I had to share with four other girls before and that got annoying trying to get work done if I wanted to be on my own. I suppose it is actually better than being in with the other fifth years."

"Good. Now just up this way." Minerva lead Hermione passed the few students sitting reading in the common room, up the stairs to the top of the girls dorms. "Here we are, after you."

Minerva stood aside and waited for Hermione to enter. Pushing the door open she walked into a room that was, she knew, the same size as the dorms below the. It had however only two beds placed across from each other and a fireplace with two very comfortable looking chairs.

"This will be your bed," Minerva pointed to the one on the left. "and through here," she pushed open another door just to the right of them, "is my, sorry, our private bathroom."

Hermione was in heaven she was in the head girls dorm and in only her fifth year. Okay so it wasn't hers but she could dream couldn't she.

She walked over to the fire side and looked at the book sitting on the table between the two chairs. "You read Shakespeare?" She was shocked that a 17 year old pure blood witch would know of Shakespeare let alone own a copy.

"Yes. My parents were both educated at oxford in the muggle world after finishing at Hogwarts. Always pushed me to read as much muggle literature as possible. Mind you didn't need much pushing after I started to read this. So I assume that you enjoy muggle books too?"

"Muggle born. Always loved to read." Hermione shrugged.

......

Minerva couldn't believe her ears and eyes for that matter. Standing in front of her was the most beautiful witch she had ever seen. She read Shakespeare and could be the solution to her quiditch teams problem. If Minerva had believe in love at first sight she would have recognised it here. But of course she had only known the girl for the last 20 minutes. It couldn't be love could it?

Minerva had known for a while now that she was gay. It hadn't really occurred to her to think about it until one day she was lying in her bed, during third year, staring at the poster of the all female quiditch team on her wall when it suddenly hit her. She was attracted to women. She liked guys but only as friends and that is all it had ever been. In that instant she had come to understand what the niggling in the back of her mind that she could never quite pin point was. The days following her realization she had been rather withdrawn and self conscious that if she had admitted it to herself that automatically everyone else would know and she would be the butt end of jokes for the rest of her life.

After a week of acting rather strangely Dumbledore had called her into his office at the end of class. Reluctantly she followed.

"Miss McGonagall take a seat I wish to have a word." He waited on Minerva sitting down. "Now I have noticed that you appear to be troubled of late and I would like to know if you wish to talk about it?"

Minerva looked at him. Albus Dumbledore, her trusted professor and head of house. This man could be trusted, couldn't he?

"If you do not wish to tell me, I do understand however I believe that I have had enough problems in my life that I can relate to what you are going through." He smiled kindly at her.

"I doubt you've ever went through what is going on with me lately. Trust me." Minerva replied looking dejected.

"Why don't you try me, you never know you may be surprised." He sat back in his chair and waited for his baited hook to be taken.

Minerva sat there. She had the sneaking suspicion that he knew exactly what was going on and if offered an ultimatum like that then he himself must be gay. Before this theory had time to be overridden by her self consciousness she blurted out very loudly and very fast. "I'M GAY"

Dumbledore smiled. "It wasn't that bad to say out loud now was it. I know I felt ten times better after the first time I told someone." Winking at her he continued. "I will give you a little advice if you would allow it." She nodded. "Minerva, it is imperative to be yourself and don't look upon what other people think. Secondly even of they do tease you it only shows there maturity level, well rather lack of. and if you do not wish anyone else to know I will keep this to myself and assure you that if you ever need to speak to me about anything, I am here."

"Thank you professor. I can't tell you how much it means to me to be able to speak about it. Thank you so much."

"Now that you have a smile on your face and a weight off your shoulders on you go to dinner. I bet a week of not eating through worry has made you famished?"

Minerva got up and headed towards the door, turning back she said, "Thank you so much professor. Have a good evening." And left.

......

"Okay Holly I think it's time for bed," Hermione nodded her agreement. They had spent the past hour and a half talking about Shakespeare and Hermione had just yawned for the second time in a minute. "You're going to have to be well rested for tomorrow."

"Why would that be?" Hermione asked perplexed.

"Because it's Saturday and you're going to have a private flying lesson." Minerva gave her a wicked smile. And headed in the direction of the bathroom.

Hermione sat there is a daze. That smile was amazing she thought. How come in 55 years time she never smiles. The question was still on her mind as they both slipped into sleep. Tomorrow was going to be interesting. For both of them.


	3. A twang of jealousy

A/N: _Okay so exams are over and I have 4 months off. I have no idea how long this will take but it is in my head somewhere just need to drag it out somehow. Anyway I know that the hole Ron Lavender thing didn't happen till HBP but I've taken it back a year to fit into this._

Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table early on Saturday morning with Minerva to her left. Taking a look up at the teachers table it took her a minute to remember that Dumbledore would not be sat in his usual seat in the centre but instead was sat two seats away. He caught her eye and gave her a slight nod of the head which she returned before turning back to her breakfast and continued to eat.

"So Holly, you ready to feel the wind in your hair?" Minerva nudged her in the side with her elbow.

"Do we really have to do this? I really, really don't like flying." Hermione had turned to look at Minerva pouting slightly.

"How can I say no to that face? Okay what you say we head down to the quiditch pitch and I'll see if I can persuade you. If not I can fly for a bit and you can read?"

Hermione nodded, that sounds a whole lot better than actually flying. She looked over Minerva. It suddenly struck her that there conversations they had had in the last 12 hours were more than she had had with professor McGonagall in the 5 years she had attended Hogwarts. It was fascinating to find out about the head girl. They spent the morning getting ready discussing their families and their friends. Hermione was astonished to find that the head girl had little friends at Hogwarts, only two actually, one of which being Albus Dumbledore. Minerva had explained how he did not seem to be like a teacher to her anymore but more like a mentor and close friend. She told how they had spent evening debating, discussing and simply chatting. At this Hermione had felt a slight twang of jealousy, putting it down to the fact Minerva had a relationship with Dumbledore that she would love to have with McGonagall she let it pass.

As they rose to leave the Great hall Dumbledore approached and asked for a quick word with Minerva. "Holly if you want to head to the pitch I'll meet you there?" Nodding her head Hermione left.

...

"Minerva I assume that all is well with Miss Granger?" Dumbledore smiled at his favourite pupil.

"Yes sir, everything is really good. She seems like an amazing girl. Rather intelligent, speaks her mind, sticks by her convictions a true Gryffindor. She's really talkative, strange really being in a new place not knowing anyone. Going to teach her how to fly, well if I can convince her to get on a broom. Said I'd take her up on mine with me. She's really scared of flying though. She'd be perfect for the team. Actually she's perfect in many ways, She's ..." Minerva managed to get all this out in one breath but stopped as she realized what she was saying and who she was saying it to. She felt the heat rising in her cheeks.

"I see we may have found someone who peaks your interest in more ways than one Minerva." Dumbledore chuckled. "Just don't fall too hard. It might seem like she is perfect in many ways as you put it but be careful who you give your heart to. And make sure you know how she feels before doing anything rash." He patted her on the back, winked and left the entrance hall to tackle a pile of paperwork he loathed to start.

Minerva turned and skipped down to the quiditch pitches, with Dumbledore's words not bothering her in the slightest it was time to show Holly how to fly.

...

Hermione was sat in the quiditch stands flicking through her transfiguration book, barely noticing a number of spells she had been taught were missing. Her mind was on Minerva and the conversation she was having with Dumbledore. Was it strange to want to go and ask her what they were discussing? Well that would be rude wouldn't it. But there was this bubbling feeling that something they were discussing was about her. She mentally slapped herself. Of course they wouldn't, that was just stupid. But suddenly a worse scenario popped into her head. What if they were more than just friends? What if that is why they have barely left each others sides for the last 55 years? As this idea began to take over her thoughts the more it made sense to her. They had both never been married, they had spent most of their lives together in Hogwarts. They were so close. The more she thought about it the more she believed that she was right. Then that twang of jealousy took over her again.

"Holly"

Why was she jealous? There was no reason to be jealous for Merlin's sake. This is stupid, if they are in a relationship it's nothing to do with me.

"Holly?"

They are both able to make their own decisions. Why am I even still thinking about this. She mentally slapped herself again. The only time Hermione had thought she had ever been jealous was when she had seen Ron kiss Lavender well she had the right to there didn't she. She was supposed to be with Ron not Lav-Lav. But this time it was different.

"Holly, you in there?"

Hermione snapped out of her thoughts to see Minerva hovering on her broom in front of her with a confused look her face.

"Are you okay, you look pretty out of it?"

" Ye...Yeh I'm fine. Think I'm going to head up to the castle though. I... I really don't feel like being out here right now. Sorry."

And with that Hermione grabbed her book stood up and ran without looking back up to the castle. She needed time to think on her own.

Minerva stared after her and felt a tear fall. Had she done something? She couldn't tell but something had changed, and not for the good.


	4. It knows what you Require

A/N: So figured that there would be around 34 chapters to this if all goes to plan. Wow didn't think my mind had the capability to think that far ahead. Anyway... didn't really like the last chapter felt like it didn't read too well and think this one is heading along the same lines but hey it needs to be done.

Hermione had made it half way to the Gryffindor common room before she realized that she could be found. Turning quickly along a concealed passage she emerged on the seventh floor corridor across from a smooth expanse of wall she had become accustomed to seeing weekly at DA meeting. Pausing for a moment to wander if anyone in the school knew of the Room of Requirement taking the chance she walked passed the bare wall three times eyes closed deep in thought.

'I need somewhere to work out what's in my head'. 'I need somewhere to work out what's in my head'. 'I need somewhere to work out what's in my head'. Chanting in her head she opened her eyes to see the door gradually form.

Taking a deep breath she pushed it open slowly to reveal what the room had in store for her. Looking around to see the floor covered in comfortable cushions, stacks of muggle books, stacks of wizarding tales, soft comforting music, and a large mug of hot chocolate with what she could tell was a hint of ginger. Dropping to the cushions and pulling the mug into her hand, letting the music wash over her. Letting out a deep breath and closing her eyes she relaxed into her comfortable surroundings.

What she did not notice was the small picture of Minerva sitting next to the muggle books. The room of requirement had tapped into her subconscious and withdrew what it needed to make her happy. If only her conscious mind would catch up.

'Why am jealous of Dumbledore?' this question ran through her head for what seemed like the next hour or so before she opened her eyes to find walls in the room had been covered floor to ceiling in pictures of the young Minerva.

'Okay think about this rationally' she told herself. 'You have no reason to be jealous of Dumbledore. If they have a relationship then it is none of my business. Then why does it hurt so much?' She opened her eyes again to see the pictures still there. 'Oh right the room gives you what you want. So according to this stupid room I want Minerva. Yeah cause that is exactly what I want. How stupid can this room be I'm not a lesbian. I want Ron. But do I really? Minerva, no Professor McGonagall is like 50 years older than me. But Minerva isn't. She's only two years older than me. But I need to get back to my time and there she is 50 years older than me. Yes but you want her. What would be the point she'd only forget me anyway. Yes but you could remind her.'

Her mind kept this internal battle running until finally she screamed at the top of her voice "I am not a LESIAN AND I DON'T WANT MINERVA MCGONAGALLLLLLL..."

Outside the room of requirement Minerva stopped in her tracks as she headed towards her trusted friend and professors office, she could have sworn she just heard her name. Shaking her head to clear her mind she continued on her way to the only person she could talk to that really understood what she was going through and what she was thinking.

Knocking on Dumbledore's office door she was astounded to find the door pulled open straight away without hesitation. "Come in Minerva take a seat."

"H...How did you know I was coming to see you sir?" She asked in confusion.

"Ahh, my dear I can see the quiditch pitch from here and Miss Granger's swift retreat made me think you wouldn't be far from knocking on my door. Come, sit, talk."

"Albus, she... she." Minerva couldn't get the words out tears threatening to fall, throat constricting. "She was completely spaced out when I arrived but then all of a sudden she up and left no explanation or anything." She sighed and slumped into her chair.

"Minerva, you must remember what it was like for you when you first came to realize who you are. I have no doubt in my mind that Miss Granger will come to terms with who she is in her own time. All you can do for her is be there for her." Dumbledore placed a hand gently on the young girls shoulder.

"So you think she's, she's gay too?" Minerva's pleading eyes met Dumbledore's tinkling blue ones to see him wink back at her.

"You feeling any better now?" Dumbledore waited on Minerva to nod, "Then on you go and find her and see what it troubling the young girls. But be warned do not delve too deeply there are things she can not tell anyone and she will hold them till her dying day."

With a quick nod Minerva got up and left Dumbledore's office slightly relieved but allot more confused than she had been 15 minutes previously, not an uncommon occurrence when conversing with Albus Dumbledore.

Hermione and Minerva both with slightly puffy and blood shot eyes and heads down walked back the portrait of the Grumpy Monk. Not looking up to notice if anyone else was there they both said the password at the same time. Two sets of startled eyes met for a split second before both looked away. An uneasy silence fell between the two as the monk swung open.

Minerva looked back a Hermione, "Holly, look if I've offended you in any way I really am truly sorry. And I just wanted you to know that if you need to talk to someone about anything, and I mean anything you are more than welcome to talk to me."

Hermione's head rose slowly to look at Minerva and seen the apparent pain in her eyes, it felt like a noose round her heart. The tears began to fall again. Minerva moved forward and wrapped her arms round the younger girl. As she placed a small kiss on the top of her head Hermione's head rose so their eyes met again. In that instant their worlds stopped. Nothing else mattered. Moving so slowly they would seem as though still, eyes closed, their lips met in a hesitant, tender first kiss. An annoyed cough from the Monk drew them out of the ecstatic feeling that was surging through them both. Hermione jumped back by at least a foot as thought the contact with Minerva had burnt, and burst out into tears once more and mumbled something Minerva could not quite hear.

"What was that Holly?" Minerva's quivering voice pierced the eyrie silence that had instantaneously descended on the hall way.

"I said, I can't deal with this." And with one last look into the emerald eyes Hermione ran as fast as she could away, not knowing where she was going or what she was going to do but away, away from the now sobbing Minerva who had slumped against the wall and slid to the floor with distraught sobs drawing the attention of all within the common room.


	5. Darkness

A/N: _Okay so this is rather dark to stat and I apologise in advance. This however is what spewed out of my head this evening after a bloody long day at work. It's short but.. hey that how it works. I can't read long chapter after long chapter mainly because I read them while on breaks at work but this is the way it comes into my head so it's the way it gets written. Anyway I don't own I just like to play. And all mistakes are my own I don't have a beta. On with the story..._

Darkness encompassed her. She could not see or hear. She could not feel. She could not see the crimson trickle down her arm and onto the floor. She could not hear the thundering of the droplets of the tiles. Nor did she feel the cold that took over her. And thus she did not hear the shriek that was let out as she was discovered. Nor did she feel the hands checking her pulse or her breathing. And therefore she did not feel the levitation charm cast on her that took her through the deserted corridors to bed she was currently lying in. No for all intents and purposes Hermione Granger had succeeded in her task of ending her life.

Happiness enveloped her, there was nothing for her to be worried about any more. Not returning to her own time, not having to deal with anymore studying and above all not having to figure out exactly what she was feeling for Minerva. Wait she was feeling. Still feeling. That was odd. She had never, before now, believed in an afterlife, well yes there were ghosts but the whole idea just seemed rather stupid to her. She was now rather irked by the fact that she still had a war going on in her head. Well mind really she didn't have a head anymore. But there was that feeling tugging at her heart or what ever it was now. That little twinge of guilt that she had taken the easy way out. She was Hermione Granger she could over come and figure out anything.

She began to open her mind to the prospects of what could have been. To what might have been had she taken her Gryffindor courage and actually tackled her problems head first and let the outcome deal with itself. She could have found her way back to the time she had come from. Well Dumbledore could have. And what did she have to loose in exploring how her feelings for Minerva had suddenly bloomed in all of 48 hours. It had been like all she had ever felt for every crush she had ever had all piled on each other with a cherry placed on top for good measure. On second thought it was more. That kiss had stopped her world, turned it upside down, the shear feeling of euphoria that had swept through her in that spilt second before she realized she was kissing Minerva McGonagall in the middle of Hogwarts, seized up and her whole being imploded in on her and driven her to this. Within 3 seconds she had gone from the most amazing moment of her life to lowest.

"Oh my god what have I done?" She thought. Wait no she had heard that. She couldn't have, she was dead wasn't she? And then came the answer.

"Ah I see we are regretting our actions already Miss Granger." Dumbledore? That was the voice of none other than Albus Dumbledore. Hermione commanded herself to open her eyes and was met with the young face mere inches from her own. "Now that you have returned to us I have only one thing to say to you tonight. Don't give up, everything works out in the end. Now get some rest , I have a rather distraught head girl to check on."

She had failed. For the first time in her life the great know it all had failed at something and it was the greatest achievement of her life. She had survived trying to die. Her last thought before falling into a dreamless sleep 'Tomorrow is a new day.'

...

After twenty minutes of her peers trying to discern the problem with Minerva she had apologised for her distraught behaviour and swiftly left the common room she had been moved into and wandered along the corridors of Hogwarts to a bathroom on the second floor. One she had found herself drawn to when she felt like this ever since her first day in the school. As she pushed open the door her already shattered heart powdered to nothing. There on the floor in front of her was Holly. Without a bat of a eyelid she was checking for life signs, a weak pulse sparked hope.

In a frantic 10 minutes Dumbledore had taken the Holly to the hospital wing and Minerva to his office. If she ad been asked what had happened, how Dumbledore had found them or how she had arrived in the seat she was now curled in sobbing violently she would not be able to say for truthfully she did not know.

Dumbledore's hand lay gently on her shoulder brought her out of her grief stricken haze.

" Minerva, I need you to calm down. Holy will be okay, I have just spoken to her."

"Y-You s-s-spoke ttt-to her?" She struggled though the sobs still racking her body.

"She will be fine. But I am at this moment more inclined to make sure you are not going to do anything stupid."

"I kissed her. W-Well we kissed each other." Minerva paused to take a deep, calming breath before continuing. "She said she couldn't deal with it and ran. I know that it doesn't make sense to feel this way after a mere 48 hours but Albus I don't think I could survive without her. I can't explain it, I know it's not logical or plausible but I feel like I have found the other half of me. I feel complete. I am whole when I am around her." Minerva fell into another fit of sobs.

"Minerva there is but one force that makes us who we are and that is love. It is the most magical of anything we will ever know and it is the most mystical that we will never discover, because it can not be understood it just occurs. We are slaves to it, it will unite us and divide us all at the same time." He pulled the young girl into his arms. "I believe that Miss Granger has come to realize the mistake she has made. Tomorrow is a new day Minerva. Let the sun rise on it as a start of something beautiful and see where your heart will take you."


	6. Invitation

**A/N: Okay so I got all depressed about the last chapter and now really hate it. So more convo's in this. This has taken so long to write not due to lack of internet. Anyways it was a quick one written in half an hour in order to update while I have access to the net.**

"Good morning Miss Granger, I hope you are feeling more yourself." Dumbledore was sat by Hermione's bed when her eyes blinked open to the rays of light flooding the hospital wing woke her.

"Yes thank you sir." She shamefully whispered back.

"Do you wish to discuss what happened last night?" It was asked in the way that left Hermione in no doubt that she would have to talk.

"I really am sorry sir." Her eyes started fill with tears. "I really don't know what came over me. It just seemed like the easiest option at the time." She glanced around to check they were alone. "I just lost all hope of ever getting back to where I belong." Lowering her head she added, "and I don't know if I want to go back anymore. But then if I stay I know that I can't have what I want because it will change my future and then I wouldn't be here in the first place. But if I go back I can never have..."

"Professor McGonagall." Dumbledore finished for her.

Hermione snapped her head up to look her Professor in the eye. "How , how can you know?"

"I know everything that goes on in this castle Hermione. As I'm sure you are aware."

"I can't get my head around what is supposed to happen? I've never been attracted to women, well not really. Maybe just one."

Dumbledore sat in contemplation of this statement. "Have you ever considered the fact that you are attracted to the same person in two different time frames for a reason? That maybe this was fate showing you there are some things that can not be understood. Maybe they are just meant to be felt and accepted it is. And as you so rightly said if it has already happened it will happen." He stood up walked to the door turned and said "Just let what will be, be."

Hermione sat there in quiet contemplation. If she just let things play out and as they should be then perhaps she would have what she had wanted for years even just for a little while. She sat there for a long time not noticing the plate of food that had been brought up from the great hall and placed beside her as lunch passed. Nor did she notice the matron bustling back and forward. She didn't stir from her deep though until she heard the noise of a chair squeaking against the stone floor next to her bed and the tall figure of Minerva McGonagall sit down next to her.

"Hey," Minerva whispered as she sat down, "Are you feeling any better?"

Hermione tilted her head up to shyly look at the sharp features of her future professor, "Yeh, slightly."

Minerva smiled but stayed silent.

"I'm so sorry you had to find me Minerva." Hermione whispered after a few minutes looking anywhere but at Minerva.

"I am just glad you are okay Holly. I don't think..." Minerva tailed off not wanting to finish the sentence and upset Hermione enough to something stupid, again. "I'm just glad your okay."

"Of all the people to find me you would not have been the one I would have chosen." She paused to take a deep breath, "And please don't blame yourself for what happened last nigh. It's not your fault, it was something that I should never have done. The whole situation is a lot more complicated than I can tell you, for now anyway." She lifted her head and looked straight into the bright green eyes that were gradually filling up and as the eyes locked Minerva broke down. The younger witch jumped from her bed and held Minerva as she sobbed uncontrolled.

"I'm so sorry Minerva I never meant for any of this to happen. I had no idea this was what would come of what I did." Hermione whispered into Minerva's ear. And without thinking she lowered her head and captured Minerva's lips in a sweet tender kiss.

The sobbing calmed and as Hermione pulled back Minerva stood and looked at the young witch. "Holly, I don't know how to explain this but I know you are the one to make me whole. I have never fallen for someone this fast and the way you reacted to one kiss last night. I don't think I can let you steal my heart anymore than you already have." She untangled herself from Hermione and walked quickly across the room, leaving the younger witch more determined than ever to make Minerva hers.

...

Minerva didn't visit Hermione the next day, or the day after that. She was in emotional turnmoil on one hand she had this amazing girl who could make her feel things she never thought possible by just standing next to her. However she couldn't wrap her head round the inkling that this girl would break her heart so completely that she could never be happy again. The situation really did need more than an instinctual reaction. However all logical thinking went out the window on the third day of Hermione's hospital stay when a screech owl fluttered down in front of her at breakfast holding a small folded piece of parchment,

Dear Minerva,

It would give me great pleasure if you would accompany me to the room of requirement this evening for what could be classed as a sort of first date. If that doesn't seem to forward of me. I know you have reservations about this and believe me I think I have more but I have done nothing but think about that kiss for the last 3 days.

Give me a chance,

Yours,

Holy.x

The grin that spread across Minerva's face as she read the letter left one teacher in no doubt that his favourite pupil and their time travelling guest were well on their way to making a mends.

**A/N: okay so this chapter was again not so good. I know where I want this to go but it just won't come out ma head the way I want it to. the next chapter with be the date and chances are my first ever chapter of any form of smuttynesssss which means it's gonna be a while or really quick. May even be later today if I have the time. however I have a London to Aberdeen train journey tomorrow so we will see how much gets written in that time. I really am sorry for it taking so long and hope the rest will follow rather quickly.**


	7. a walk and maybe a lack of talk

**A/N: Okay so I got a bit bored on the train and wrote this however I really didn't want to start writing anything too *coughs* on a packed train so your getting this instead. All normal disclaimers, you know the drill. and yeh it's still not been beta'd**

Hermione couldn't wait for the day to end, to find out if Minerva was going to take her up on the offer she had thrown out there. She had been released from the hospital wing just before lunch but had decided against heading to the Great Hall, she would much rather find out the answer to her invitation at the time. So instead she headed down to the kitchens and tickled the pear in order to gain entry. After introducing herself to the elves who graciously brought her lunch and assured her that as she requested there would be a 3 course meal sent to the room of requirement that evening. Having satisfied herself that her plans were in order she headed to se the transfiguration professor to ask him a little favour which she hoped would help Minerva to see that she was indeed up for whatever this would become.

As half 6 grew nearer Minerva was getting more and more nervous. She had been hoping to come across Holly throughout the day to give her a response but couldn't find her. The fact is she had no idea where the room of requirement was and therefore could not meet anyone there. She had resorted to sending Holly an owl at 5 that evening to say that she would be willing to come but had no idea where to go. So here she was standing in the middle of a deserted corridor, everyone else being at dinner, waiting on her date to show up. There was a slight swishing sound and the unmistakable feeling of magic in the area and Minerva turned to see a door that was materializing in the wall open slightly to reveal Hermione wearing what must have been the most flattering dress Minerva had ever seen.

Standing there dumbstruck Minerva roused from her stillness by Hermione taking her had an lightly kissing it asking her to enter. And as she crossed the threshold she heard the low music playing at a steady tune. Taking in the room she could see that it was coming from a string quartet, instalments playing of their own accord in the corner. And as her eyes found the back of Hermione she was paralysed by the sight in front of her. The floor length black gown she wore was from the front quite modest but on closer inspection backless from shoulders down to the very to of her perfectly formed ass. Minerva was salivating at the sight. Caught in her own lust filled thoughts she had failed to notice the smirk that had spread across Hermione's face or that she could indeed see her face as he had turned round.

Hermione was well aware of what she was doing. She had asked Dumbledore to modify a set of robes which she now wore as the dress and it was having the desired affect. The look that had crossed Minerva's face and the hunger deep in her emerald eyes was causing her temperature to rise.

"Good evening Minerva" Hermione tried to rouse her still staring date.

"Go-Good evening Holly, and might I add how stunning you are looking this evening."

"You're not looking to bad yourself," Hermione looked her up and down and took in the intricately design on Minerva's dress robes. And how the fitted snugly to the curves of her body. Hermione was comparing this Minerva's body to that of the one she would know in the years to come. "Would you like to sit and we can start dinner?" She held out the seat at the table set for two and Minerva graciously sat.

Conversation during the first two courses was almost non existent, only the occasional praise of the food. Both of them far to preoccupied with images playing across their brains of what they would much rather be doing. When the desert was brought out by an elf Hermione watched as Minerva's eyes widened seeing the chocolate covered strawberries, giving her the feeling that they were both thinking along the same lines.

It was at this point that Minerva finally got her wits about her and shook all thought of running the fruit over the lips of the woman sitting opposite her and following it with her tongue as she continued to trail the fruit down her naked body slowly following with her tongue. Standing she quickly went around the table and grasped Hermione's hand pulling her to her feet, "I don't know about you but I'm feeling rather full and wouldn't mind a walk before desert if you would like?" She noticed the slight flicker of disappointment that was quickly covered by Hermione but was not willing to give into her most basic needs for pleasure so quickly.

"That would be lovely thank you Minerva."

As they walked round the lake the conversation started to flow freely. However there was still that slight twang of awkwardness. They were walking side by side with barely a few inches separating them as the rounded the far side of the lake. Each stealing sidelong glances at the other while they thought the other wasn't paying attention but neither missing it. Making each other laugh and gaining pleasure in doing so. And as their hands accidentally brushed together their strides faltered at the electricity flowing between them. And then out of nowhere there hands were intertwined and they were walking along hand in hand. Neither acknowledging this new found pleasure maybe except for the small shy smile they both now wore and the silence that fell between them. They continued like this until the were walking along the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest until Minerva feeling her need to rip the stunning dress off the more stunning younger witch and devourer her pulled Hermione behind a rather large tree, slowly pushing her back against it and taking the full luscious lips of her very soon to be lover.

**So next chapter will defo be what happens in the forest (if I don't bottle it) but will hopefully be up next weekend at some point or maybe sooner if I can get away with updating it at uni. enjoy those who are still reading.**


	8. Explosions

A/N: okay so another semester over so thought I'd actually write this. Don't know what you'll think of it, but be kind, it's my first ever attempt at writing what is effectively smut. Or at least in terms of HG/MM anyways. I've read so many good ones I know this is a measly attempt, but it is as good as it is going to get or it'll never get posted as I'll second guess myself and delete the whole thing and never update. So here it is. My contribution to the M rated section. And if you couldn't guess by now I am still not J.K and sadly never will be.

Explosions

The fumbling of inexperience was apparent as clothes were eagerly ripped off of each others bodies, left and forgotten as the two were caught in the heat that grew exponentially around them. Hermione wanted nothing more than to feel the bare skin of the magnificent woman in front of her. As she reached the last barrier she snaked her arm up and around the back of Minerva and removed her bra, revealing the expanse of unseen flesh below and could do nothing more than lower her head and lick round the nipple of her left breast. The sheer joy of what she was doing was nothing to what Minerva was currently feeling. Her head had been thrown back and violently slammed the tree they were leaning upon. Even this failed to detract form the sensation running from her breasts to her groin. She was in heaven. She was unprepared when Hermione took her nipple fully into her mouth and gently sucked.

A moan escaped the lips of the great witch and Hermione was sure that this simple sound could have her crashing over the edge into the bliss of orgasm if she wasn't concentrating so hard on the movement of her tongue over the rock hard but. Then with a wicked thought she grabbed it with her teeth and those in the castle would undoubtedly have heard Minerva's roar.

Panting from pain, from pleasure, from sheer arousal, Minerva grabbed the others head raised it looked into the eyes for a split second before capturing the talented mouth, spinning them round and pinning Hermione to the tree. Her hands working down the sides of her younger lover and finding her perfectly shaped rear. Slipping her thumbs into the elastic holding up the lacy green garment covering her goal she seductively slipped them down passed her knees, and pressed her still knicker clad body against the younger witch, if possible deepening the kiss which still had not broken.

Without the barrier of her underwear Hermione could feel her arousal make its way down her inner thy. Shaking with anticipation she reached for the hand that has made its way back up to her unruly hair and lowered it towards her centre. Breaking the kiss Minerva held her gaze looking for any sign that this was too much for her companion to handle. Seeing the dark pools of the molten heat emanating from Hermione's eyes she brushed her fingertips over the sodden curls. The sharp intake of breath that followed was nothing compared to the moan that was swallowed by Minerva's lips as she slipped her finger lower and found the hardened nub the curls were concealing. With sure, long strokes she brought the younger witch to her knees. Following her down they found themselves lying atop their discarded clothing, Minerva's hand still moving at a tantalising pace between the others legs. Relinquishing control on the kiss she moved further down to pay attention to Hermione's full breasts, matching the slow torturous pace her hand was playing with her tongue.

Taking her time she licked over left then the right, never ceasing the movement of her hand, before briefly circling Hermione's belly button and licking lower. A disgruntled noise came from her lips as Minerva's hand lost contact with her most intimate area to be followed by a long raged groan, as at the same time a talented tongue took up where the hand had left off and two long strong fingers slipped easily into her begging body. Within seconds Hermione's nerve endings were on fire, her back arched, every muscle in her body was spamming and a scream of completion was heard. Minerva didn't relent, she continued to caress, lick, massage and worship the other as her orgasm subsided and gave way to the most compelling feeling of completion that Hermione had ever felt.

Crawling back up the body of the panting witch Minerva noticed the tears escaping her loves eyes, "I didn't hurt you did I?" Her voice laced with concern.

"No… I …" Hermione paused to gain her breath, "I just never… you know others tell you how it is supposed to feel…" She stopped again opened her tear-filled eyes.

"It wasn't as good as you expected?" Nervousness coming through in every syllable Minerva's slowly shattering heart would let her speak.

From below a hand came up to caress her check forcing her to look at her lover below. "No, people say that it's amazing, but no one says what it feels like to have the universe implode upon you to be reborn with only two inhabitants. To feel so complete that in that moment you know you could die happy, that there is absolutely no other person in the world experiencing the intensity of what you are currently going through. To know that the only reason that this is happening is that against all odds at my age I believe I have found the other half of me. The one who will hold my heart in their hands and the one that I will love until my dying day."

Minerva couldn't think of anything to say so instead lowered her head to kiss her with everything she could. They lay there exchanging the occasional kiss or caress until the cool air maid them start to shiver. After gathering their clothing they made their way back to the dorm they shared for what would be a very sleepless night in a dorm with one very empty bed.

A/N: just a quick side track here. This took an hour to write 900 words yet when essays for uni have to be written it take 3 days to write 900 words. Bit odd. Hope to update soon and not keep anyone who is still reading this waiting, hopefully anyways.


	9. Torn

A/N: How lucky you lot are two updates in a day. I thought I'd move the story on a bit with this one. Again I don't have a beta and I am not J.K. for if I was these two would live a long and prosperous life together.

As the pair made their way to breakfast next morning there was a spring in their step that Dumbledore immediately recognised and which he was sure that would make what he was about to do much harder.

"Miss Granger? If you please, I would like a word with you after breakfast."

Hermione turned round to find Dumbledore standing just inside the entrance to the Great Hall. "Yes sir, of course." The trademark twinkle the man always had in his eye was lacking and she knew what was going to happen. Her jubilant mood was gone as if a switch had been flicked, and it hadn't escaped the notice of Minerva.

All through breakfast Hermione failed to touch her food, pushing it round her plate as she sat in silent contemplation. She knew she had to return to the future, her present. The ramifications were untold if she did not. Yet she was sitting there thinking of ways in which to escape this Hogwarts along with the young Minerva and live the life that she knew they could have together, many many years of untold pleasure and wonders.

"Holly, are you okay?"

The question penetrated her mind as she realised the Great Hall was almost empty. How could she tell this amazing person she had fallen in love with she wouldn't see her for near on 60 years? Could she do this to her?

"Yeha, I'm fine, just not that hungry. I'll meet you in class after I've spoken to Professor Dumbledore." She smiled leaned over and placed a chased kiss on her lovers lips, whispered, "I love you with all my heart… always." Got up and walked out of the hall leaving a very perplexed Minerva sitting alone at the table.

She could not look back for, she could not bear think of the heart ach she would cause the woman sitting there when she discovered that she may never see her again. This thought resonated in her mind and before she knew it she was faced with the door to Dumbledore's office. She knocked and entered.

"You wished to see me sir?"

"Yes Miss Granger, I believe I have the answer to our little situation. Or maybe the trigger to a lifetime of despair for someone we both hold dear." His last words were said with an air of defeat. " I believe you and Minerva have resolved any issues you had and have, for lack of better terminology, consummated your relationship?"

To this Hermione could do nothing but nod her head slightly as tears began to form in her eyes.

"I must inform you that if this works, for I cannot guarantee that it will, you must not go running to find her in the future. You must come and find me first. Do you understand?"

Again a nod of accretion was all that was given.

"I must then ask you if there is anything you wish to do before we try this?"

Hermione looked into the sky blue eyes of the man that had always known the answer to everything. "Can I leave her something?" With a nod from Dumbledore Hermione took a quill and a piece of parchment and began to write.

After a few minutes Dumbledore rose from his desk and walked towards the now sobbing girl in his office. He placed the time turner around her neck and twirled it a few times, with an intricate swish and flick of his wand he chanted under his breath and within a second Hermione was no longer in front of him.

Removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose he resumed the seat at his desk and waited for what he expected would be one of the worst conversations he would ever have with Minerva McGonagall.

Minerva had finished her first two classes by the time she went to search for Holly. When she couldn't find her in their dorm, she headed to the bathroom where she had found her lying unconscious only days before, yet still there was no sign. Walking passed the wall in the 7th floor corridor where the room of requirement was the door didn't materialise when she asked it to open the place Holly was. Finally coming to the conclusion the only way she was going to find her love was to ask the man who had last seen her she made her way to Dumbledore's rooms.

Upon entering a wave passed over her she could not quite grasp. There was something amiss with the atmosphere. The look on her friend and mentors face did nothing to help the feeling of dread spreading through her entire being.

"Albus, have you seen Holly. I mean after your conversation with her this morning?"

"Minerva dear, I suggest you sit before I give you this letter." He gestured to two empty chairs by the fire. Taking the other, he reached into his robe and pulled out a roll of parchment.

With tears already rolling down her checks Minerva stretched out a trembling hand, took the parchment and unrolled it;

Dearest Minerva,

I know this will make little sense but you must understand that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have left Hogwarts.

It is nothing to do with what has happened between us, you must believe this and believe when I say I love you. You have wormed your way into me. Into a place that will never be free to anyone again. There will not be a day goes by that I will not think of you and remember the brief time we have spent together.

In time you will understand. Do no press Dumbledore, for I know he will not tell you where I have gone. The time for understanding will come.

I will find you one day. With all my being I swear that you will be in my arms once more. I cannot tell you when but do not give up hope. Never give up hope.

You have taught me how to make a universes, remember this.

Yours forever and always.

With all my love

H.x

The tears were flowing freely from Minerva's eyes as she rolled the parchment and placed it in her robes. It was a few seconds before the heart wrenching sobs raked her body.

Albus stood and moved to her side. He knew there were no words to ease the pain of a lost love, all he could do was wrap her in his arms and hold her as she let the pain out in the most human fashion. It was well past twilight when Minerva had cried herself to sleep.


	10. Descent

**A/N: So I started writing this during exams and it appears that the curse of exam revision has driven me to write another chapter for your pleasure. It is once again short but hey it is better than nothing. **

It was cold and that was all that registered in the mind of Minerva McGonagall. It had been little over a week since her love had left without reason the day after the most eye opening experience of her life. But since reading the letter she had failed to speak, to eat and had risen from her bed only to use the bathroom.

It had been a week. All she could think of was how her heart had been ripped from her body and was still sitting there in Dumbledore's office, shrivelled on the floor. All that remained of a shadow, a shadow of who she once was.

It had been a 7 days since the depression had set in, and all she could feel was cold and longed for the end to consume her. She couldn't bare to think about ending it herself, but she longed for the end to come in anyway possible. It was this that stopped her from eating, stopped her from speaking and prevented her from getting out of bed.

It had been around 168 hours since she had been crushed. Her friends had tried to speak to her, to try and understand but she wouldn't let anyone in. She couldn't let them feel her pain. Why would they be able to understand, they were oblivious to love and it's complexities.

It had been 10080 minutes and Albus was beside himself with worry. Even though he knew his friend would survive this and live a long life he was struggling to see when she would return to some realm of normalcy.

It had been 604800 second since the departure of her light and that was the last thing Minerva knew before she succumbed to sleep for what she longed to be the last time.

He knew he shouldn't have interfered and knew that it was not what should have been done but in the end he needed her to survive. Hermione had made a promise and the only way he felt that she would fulfil it would be to help Minerva through this as best he could. It was with a heavy heart and tears in his sparkling eyes that he sent the letter to St Mungos, telling them of his favourite students' predicament. It was as though his own heart was crippling as he witnessed the healers coming to take Minerva away. And he hoped beyond anything that she was going to recover, survive and above all find the love once more that she had lost.

Hermione awoke, from what she thought was a dream, to find herself at the foot of the stairs she had just fallen down. Looking around she found that the castle was, as she had known from her first day.

There was only one thing on her mind and that was to get to Minerva and tell her everything. She ran through the halls and was almost there when a nagging in the back of her mind reminded her of Dumbledore's last words to her. Slowing, she turned the corner into the corridor leading to his office. To her surprise the man in question was standing with his office door open awaiting her arrival.

"Good evening Miss Granger, I believe a welcome back is in order, we have a lot to discuss. Please come in and take a seat."


	11. Lithium

A/N: I have no idea what I wanted this chapter (and the subsequent ones in diary form) to accomplish. I really wanted to take a new view on the fic and this is the only way I could think of telling Minerva's story. Let me know what you think as I really have no idea if it works or not, if it doesn't I will fix it and re-do this chapter and stay away from diary entries for good. Oh the italics are the diary entries.

Hermione sat on her bed, having closed the curtains and placed a silencing charm around the perimeter, with the book Dumbledore had given her. That was over three hours ago and she could not get passed the first page.

'This is the Diary of Minerva McGonagall'

How could she invade the privacy of her soul mate? How Dumbledore had even got his hands on it was beyond her. But he had told her to read it and thus she did.

_It has been 4 days. 4 days of insufferable incarceration. How can they expect me to talk about it? My life has been destroyed before it even started. 17 years old and here I sit, a padded cell surrounding me. This is the end of me. How can I be expected to go places and fulfil the potential Albus apparently sees in me if he has the tenacity to lock me up in this place. Dam you. _

_She has gone and there is noting I can do. Well at least that is what they tell me, but I know they are wrong. I will find her, mark my words, I will find her._

_They keep telling me that writing things down will help if I don't want to talk to them. Crap, utter crap. How can this possibly help? "Pour your hurt into a diary" what crap they talk sometimes. This isn't helping it's only making me think about her more._

_I suppose since they are refusing to let me do anything else I might as well do what they want. The sooner I get out of here the sooner I can find her, and repair the hole that resides in my heart._

_She came into my life, from where I do not know, as I know not where she is now. So innocent and un-touched. Did I spoil you my precious flower? Is that the reason you are not here with me now? Did I scare her off, hurt her, damage the beauty that is my mate? My mate could she be classed as that. Penetrating my soul, capturing my heart and lifting me above the realms of reality. We are meant to be, or should that be were meant to be? Never have I known nothing and everything about someone at the same time. _

_One night of ecstasy in her arms and I have become a blithering fool. I'd give Albus a run for his money. Logic and reason can not explain the state of mind that she has driven me to. Coherent thought has been ripped from me. How can I go on?_

_Is it so much to ask to be happy?_

The last line of that days entry resonated in Hermione's head. She had asked herself the same questions many times in her life. Why does life lead you to places that make you happy then remove it from beneath your feet without warning.

_6 days, 6 days in this hole of a place. At least they have given me a decent room now. No padded walls, oh rejoice there is even a window. Apparently they believe that writing this is actually helping me. I'm still sceptical about it but if it continues to get me closer to seeing the end of this place. _

_Dearest Holly, where art thou? You carry my heart where you are. It will remain with you till the day you part from this earth and from my life. For I know you are out there with me always. They tell me that I will get through the pain that rips through my chest, but it has numbed me through the past weeks. I care not to take care of ones self when I no not where you are. You are my life force, my pulse, my oxygen. But how can you keep me alive when you are not here. _

_I will find you one day. Of that I am sure. But how much time will remain for us to be one? You have disappeared and not allowed for us to become the thing I know we should be. _

_I shall find you… I shall find you._

Tears were spilling down Hermione's cheeks as she read. "No I will find you Minerva."

_They are starting me one this thing they call "medication" tell me it will help me think straight. They are claiming I'm mad, depressed, crazy, and insane. I do not think so. But I will take this thing, apparently a muggle idea. Lithium, I think they called it. I don't know what to expect. Albus is all for it, even though I haven't seen him since I have been locked up in here. We shall see what happens. _

_I am not hopeful._

Hermione suddenly came to realization as to why Minerva had changed so much in the time that has passed. Anti-depressants, the lack of the emotion and she had been the cause. Finding Minerva in the present time would never be able to make up for the torment she had caused the woman from there departure, to her only hours ago, to the other a mere memory in the very distant passed.


	12. Indifference

A/N: mini chapter update, dissertation writing taking priority at the moment. There will be a few like this over the coming weeks.

_This stuff is supposed to make me feel nothing. It's working. I can feel nothing. I'm not happy I'm not sad, I'm completely indifferent to the world. I know I should be feeling something, I want to be able to feel, I just can't. Numbness is all I feel. But surely being able to feel numbness means there is feeling there somewhere. I can't think straight. _

_I know I should be missing her, and yet a can not bring myself to do so. She is out there somewhere and I am stuck in here. Climbing the walls of this blasted place. I need to get out. To get on with my life. _

_Albus came to see me the othe day, finaly, He says Grindlewald is gaining power in Europe. It will come to a head soon and we will be plunged into war. He says I'll have a place by his side. I'd rather be fighting than stuck in here, even if there is nothing to live for in my life. _

_Is it wrong to wish that it will be my end. There is no one left to care if I come home in a box or not at all. Would she even know? Would it affect her the way I am being affected now. I do not however know how I am feeling. This stuff really is screwing with my head. _

_Two day's and I'll be out of here, by the side of the man to lead us to victory. Dumbledore will lead us into battle and we will win or die trying. _


	13. Within My Grasp

_The end was within my grasp. The numbness overcame me and yet I am here to write this. He saved me. _

_We were in the woods next to a shallow river. Alone. Or so we thought. There were 10 of us, Albus, myself and 8 of the __Orden_ des _Phönix, moving under the cover of dark. It happened so fast. Then there were two. I can't remember where they came from, or how they got the upper hand, but it was the end, or so I thought. _

_I blacked out. When I awoke the sun was skirting the horizon and I was on my knees. Standing over me were four of his followers, his men, his disciples. They were poised, waiting their orders to end my suffering, or torture the remaining life from my body. _

_All I could think of, the only thought that crossed my mind, was not the inevitable pain, the pleasure they would gain, the overwhelming finality of the situation, no it was of her. My dear, sweet Holly. She was in my mind, in my heart, in my soul. And as the first curse raked my body I felt nothing but the oncoming release of the torture of living without her. The physical pain was nothing compared to the passed few months. Time passed and they did not relent. I was sure, without a shadow of a doubt I was destined to leave this world. _

_And then he was there. Albus, he came from nowhere and lifted me into his arms, carried me away from the bodies of those who had almost ended the suffering. The part of me that longs for there to be an end to this resents him and no doubt will for the rest of our lives. Yet he has given me hope, a chance to find my love and mend my tortured soul. Until meet again my love, I will find you. _


	14. A Fresh Start

_My heart has been aching these last five year. It was that we created the universe. The memory of that night washes over me and I can feel your lips on my skin, your finger tips on my skin, your very being penetrating my soul. We were going to grow old together and then you were gone. _

_That was five years ago, five agonising years. But as I sit her on the bed we once shared ready for another Gryffindor head girl to take the reins, I realise that there is no time to ponder the past, you were the one who left. I don't know why, but you were the one to end this, to end us. I know my heart will never be complete but after five years of misery it is time to move on. _

_Albus has trusted me the position of Transfiguration Professor. I need to give it my all, my heart and soul. Although I know there will be a part of me that never gives up hope I cannot help but think that our time has passed._

_I will always hold that time we spent close but tomorrow is a fresh start. I'm off the medication, I'm starting a new job, and I'm going to start to live my life. _


	15. Haunting

A/N: Okay so this is a short chapter to get me back into writing this again. I do apologise. However I appear to be back on track and have the ideas flowing just trying to get myself there. Hope you enjoy. I do hope to update this more regularly (fingers crossed)

September 1st 1991

_It cannot be her. Minerva snap out of it. JUST SNAP OUT OF IT. You are not putting yourself through that __**AGAIN.**__ Holly is gone. She left years ago. This Hermione girl shares the same second name but come on get a grip on yourself. She has plagued you for years… she is not coming back. It has been 50 years. Get over her. _

A knock on her office door broke her thoughts. "Enter."

"Minerva, dear are you alright? You retreated here rather swiftly after the feast. Usually you are the one gloating about your new students in the staff room at this hour on the 1st of September." Albus walked into the room and seated himself next to his best friend. "Tell me what troubles you!"

"Albus…" She paused not knowing how to bring up a long forgot, at least by him, topic. Drawing a deep breath she continued, "Are any of the new students… Do they seem… Familiar to you?" Minerva had become engrossed in the intricate lines on her aging hands. "I mean do you feel as though you have seen any of them before?"

"Minerva, my dear, we have hundreds of students in this castle many of them related many of whom we have taught there parent, grand parents in my case. There is going to be some that seem familiar." He reclined in his seat, encouraging her to continue.

"There is a student – muggle born- who just reminds me so much of the past. She shares the second name of someone I still can not forget. She even looks as though they could be sister. And yet she is the first in her family line to show any magic." Her eyes started to fill with tears. "Albus, she is the double of Holly."

The wizard leaned forward in his seat, grasping the hands of his fragile friend. Not many people had ever been aloud to see this side of the stoic woman. He himself had seen her at her worst and had stuck by her through those times. Times he thought had passed. He regretted to admit that he was mistaken. "Oh, Tabby, I thought you had gotten passed this?"

"I have… had. She just seems to bring it all back. One look into those eyes; that smile, it just seems to bring it all flooding back." The tears were falling freely down the aged face of the broken woman. "I fear that this is going to be the end of me Albus, I cannot help but rekindle the hope I had lost so long ago."

The elder stood up and walked towards the window. He knew this was the same girl, the one who had stolen the heart of his best friend. He knew it would be at least another five years before the young woman would know anything of this. And above all her knew that when this all resolved itself Minerva would not forgive herself for giving up hope. He stood pondering the implications.

"Can we join the rest of the staff. You do have Potter to gloat about after all."

"I find myself torn as to whether that is a reason to brag or a reason to run and hide."


	16. Emptyness

A/N: Okay so really back on track with this. I think I know where it is going and the end at least has the possibility of coming into sight at some point soon. So to thank you all for sticking with it and all the wonderful reviews I have received here is yet another chapter.

Also a big thank you to _**FanFicLove101**_ for listening to my ideas and helping me out getting back on track. So this chapter is for you, as a thanks.

Hope you all enjoy.

_End of May 1993_

_Do they ever just shut up. Really…. Is there any need for them to incessantly talk throughout the night? And about boys of all things. Surely they see that this is a time for learning and not swooning over stupid immature boys. If they keep talking I'm never going to get this Transfiguration essay done. __**Oh will you lot just **__**SHUT UP**__. Why are they talking about boys, we're 13 years old. They should be like me. Focusing on their studies, learning, interacting and becoming the best they could be. _

"Ooo look we've annoyed little miss know-it-all!"

"Bet she's away to tell McGonagall that were disrupting her studies."

Hermione got up from her bed slammed her book onto her night stand and left the room, not forgetting to throw the her classmates a tiresome look.

It was a little before eight and she had a _date_ with her professor. _Damn it Hermione it is not a date…. It is a meeting to discuss furthering your education. Why on earth did you just call it a date? _ Shaking her head she left the common room and wondered through the corridors the short distance to her head of house's office. As she reached the door it opened revealing none other than Albus Dumbledore.

"Ah Miss Granger, how are you this evening?"

"I am very well, thank you head master. And yourself?"

"I am very well. Very well indeed. Minerva said she had a meeting with you this evening, I hope she does not tax your mind too much." The ever evident twinkle in his eye.

"I'm sure she won't Sir. Have a good evening."

With a nod of the head the wizard walked round the corner heading towards the kitchens. Hermione was in no doubt that her was on his way to annoy the elves for a while. Chuckling to herself she turned and entered to open door McGonagall's office. The older woman was sat at the fireside flicking through what looked like a very old note book. She did not alert her mentor to her presence. Instead she took a moment to take a good look at the older woman.

There was something about her that had always intrigued Hermione. She looked up to her and yet there was something else that she could never put her finger on, a connection of sorts. The woman had always treated as though she was more mature than her age. She agreed there. It was evident from her lack of interest in the conversation currently happening in her dorm that she was beyond her years.

"Good evening Professor."

Minerva looked up at the young woman, and the empty feeling she had become accustomed to came flooding back. "Good evening, Miss Granger. Please take a seat." She pointed the girl in the direction of the chair vacated by Albus.

"Thank you professor."

"Now, Miss Granger it had been brought to my attention by your teachers that you have coped quite well with the workload of this year, even given the circumstances." Hermione nodded. "And the fact that you have decided upon taking all of the available courses next year is commendable however… I fear that your tendency to throw yourself heart and soul into everything will be an issue."

"Professor, I love to learn and think I'd be more than capable of the workload. At least next year won't be as interesting as the last two have been… I hope." Hermione replied in her most convincing tone, barely convincing herself.

"Yes… Mr Potter, Mr Weasley and yourself have gotten into rather odd predicaments over your time here. I'm sure if you don't go looking for it, trouble will not come again next year." Barely convincing herself. "If you are sure, and only if you are sure? I shall allow you to take the available classes."

Hermione sat stunned. Yes she had opted to take all the classes but never had she hoped she would be allowed to. "Really?"

"Yes Miss Granger I am sure you have the capabilities and have every confidence in your abilities. However, there will be a few logistical issues to overcome. You will be required to use a time turner in order to attend all the classes."

_What on earth is a time turner? I'm sure I would have read about those. No nothing. Oh god, if I don't even know what it is how am I expected to use one. _

Minerva's lips curled into a smile. "By the look on your face I feel you have never heard of a time turner?" The young witch shook her head and sank into the chair she was occupying. It was at this point that Minerva knew she had made the right decision in allowing her to have a time turner. The shame that spread across Hermione's whole being at disappointing her pulled slightly at her heart. "It is nothing to be ashamed of, if you had known I would have been very surprised indeed. In short, it is a miniature time machine, capable of transporting you back in time 2 or 3 hours. This will allow you to be in two places at once…"

"Therefore attending all my classes." Hermione completed her sentence in a tone of complete awe. Then just as quickly as she understood fear set in. "Are they dangerous? I mean can I get lost somewhere?"

"There has never been an issue with people getting lost somewhere however there are a few safety issues including not divulging it's existence to anyone, no matter who they are."

A sudden flash of Holly's departing letter painfully made it's way to the front of her mind. **In time you will understand. Do not press Dumbledore for he will not tell you where I have gone. Time for understanding will come.** The letter itself sat in the diary she had been flicking through before Albus had shown up that evening and currently sat on the table next to her. As soon as the thought entered her head she dismissed it.

Hermione sat studying the face of the older woman. Her eye had gone distant and the emotions playing out in her body language drew Hermione in even further. There was pain clearly evident. What had caused this very out of character change in her mentor she didn't know, but there was something deep down that compelled her to tentatively reach out and rest her hand on the arm of the woman. "Professor, are you alright?"

Minerva's arm whipped back from the touch as though burnt. Having no idea how long she had been in her own world she recovered in an instant. "I am fine Miss Granger, I shall give you more details after the summer, I am sure you have things to be doing, close the door on your way out." Minerva got to her feet during the speech and headed to the other side of the room, through a door and on the last word closed it behind her.


	17. Hermione's Rambling

A/N: I know it's another short one but in order to move it along and not hitting the brick wall I thought it would be a good idea to post it. Followed very shortly by another chapter.

It's is a Hermione Diary entry in the weeks following the last chapter.

Hope you enjoy :OD

The simple flick, so elegant and so subtle, yet so astoundingly powerful. The ease with which her fingers, so delicate in their construction, mould themselves to the natural extension of her magical being. They say the wand chooses the wizard, however it looks as though they are born into each other. To hold so much power in ones hands, and never use it against an innocent soul. To have the respect of the respectable members of the wizarding world and not allow it to infringe on character. Yet to hold ones self at arms length from the world. Let no one get close. There has to be a reason.

I can see myself in her. I can see myself growing into her.

I have never been popular, I have never held social interactions to the heights of others. I try to keep myself to myself. However I am drawn in by the wonder of this woman. She has suffered in her life, I have no doubt. The pain and emotion that a split second can be erased. To be dismissed so coldly.

I don't have the right to need a reason. I know I have no right. I _want _the right. She deserves someone to look at her as something other than the stoic, emotionless woman that she portrays. She has done so much for this world and yet no one appreciates the woman below.

To unravel the intricate weave of her soul and release the pain that dwells beneath. To help her. To show her someone cares.

I'm not saying I see her in that way but I see how different she is to the rest of them. She understands my mind set, she understands my talent, she knows what it is like to be the odd one out and above all she understands me.

And anyways what's a school girls crush? I can't think of her like that. Can I? Okay yes I have never found boys to be of any interest, but I have never found any girls to be of any interest either. But her…

She draws me in, I can't see how others fight those eyes. They speak worlds and yet I seem to be the only one to see it.


	18. Dreams

A/N: oh luck you another update within minutes. Hope you enjoy it as much as the rest. All usual disclaimers apply.

September 1st 1993

The conversation had been brief and to the point but Hermione had not missed the look she received upon entering the room. Their eyes had met and in that brief moment she knew Minerva had not seen her but the shadow of someone else. She had been handed the time turner and they left together for the great hall.

As the feast began to close Hermione found herself looking at the woman in question sitting at the teachers table. Minerva was animatedly debating something with the headmaster. Hermione returned her attention to her desert. There was a strange feeling in her stomach. She wasn't hungry anymore. The fluttering that had slowly been working up her throat was starting to constrict her breathing somewhat. Excusing herself from the table early she made her way to the dormitories feeling that perhaps lying down would help. Had she taken a look back into the hall she would have noticed a pair of vibrant green eyes on her back, an eyebrow quirking questioningly.

That idea had failed. It was passed midnight when she gave up on sleep. The feeling in her stomach had not lessened, indeed it had increased. Being in a room with her own thoughts was something a catalyst to the sickening feeling. Taking the time turner from her nightstand drawer she placed it round her neck and without taking a breath the feeling was gone. Yet Hermione didn't notice this. She has ben drawn to the window looking out over the grounds of Hogwarts. The still lake reflecting the delicate light of the cloud covered moon. The trees of the forbidden forest swaying ever so slightly in the breeze. Without a second though Hermione dawned her cloak and made her way towards the common room, for some reason a walk around the lake sounded like a good idea. Had she been drawn to the window just a minute earlier she would have see a tall figure making their way back in the main entrance to the castle.

Minerva had walked this rout many time over the last 50 years, but never more so than in the last 2 years. It gave her some strange form of comfort to be able to return to the place where her universe had been reborn. It had started in her third year of teaching. She was just going to do it once. Or at least that was what she had promised herself. Inevitably it was not the case. Soon it became something she would do a few times a year. Then every other month. Until Hermione had arrived and her nightly walking had become something she did once or twice a week. Particularly on the days she had encounters with the young witch.

Having made it back to her chambers Minerva, as was usual on evening such as this, retired straight to bed, where she would inevitably fall into a restless sleep. But tonight it felt different to her. As she closed her eyes there was only one thing on her mind, a stunning smile, a consuming giggle and memories of a night spent in the arms of her long lost love.

_A single finger stroked at the hairs on the base of her neck. Goosebumps slowly rose under Holly's touch. The single finger began to draw the most delicious patterns down her spine. Goosebumps following closely behind. Every nerve ending the finger touched sent shock waved down racing down her spine. She had never felt a touch so loving, so arousing. The single finger was joined by another as they made there way lower. And another until Minerva let out a low aroused moan. Five nails dug gently into the globe of her muscular rear as a set of teeth gently sunk into her neck. _

"_Do you know how sexy that sounds?" Holly's husky voice whispered in her ear. "Do you know how sexy you are? I want to show you how to create the universe." Her hand grazed Minerva's side as delicately as Holly's had made it's way to cup Minerva's bare breast. _

_Another moan escaped the older witch as a pair of equally bere breasts pressed against her back. "Do you? Do you know how sexy you are when you talk like that?" Minerva's words came out between her laboured breaths. _

"_You like it…" Holly twisted the very erect nipple between her finger, "when I talk dirty?"_

"_Oh… god… yes. More, please…" Minerva's threw her head back in pleasure. _

"_It would be my pleasure." The single finger that had ran down her spine just moments before started to trail a torturously slow path towards Minerva's waiting core. "I bet you're dripping wet waiting for this little finger to touch you where you want it, aren't you?"_

_The flood of arousal at what was to come proved the young woman correct. Minerva wasn't just wet she was drowning. The feelings this woman provoked in her had her positively aching to be touched, her arousal flowing down her thy. Unable to say anything else a simple "yes" was the only response. _

_The hand however had made its way over her hip and slowly to her knee. Lifting it to rest over the smaller bent leg behind her. As she was exposed to the cooling air of the dim room another shiver ran up her spine. Holly's hand moved up her inner thy nails lightly scratching the soft skin. "Do you want me to touch you?" The was no verbal response only a thrust of the hips towards the eager hand. _

_She needed no other encouragement. She plunged the single finger into the waiting body. A long moan filled the room. Both of them aware that this was as deeply emotional as they could get. _

_Minerva's hand flew behind her own head to grab the hair of the woman currently doing unthinkable things to her. Twisting her own head and locking their lips in a passion filled exchange. As the elder witch plunged her tongue into holly's eagerly accepting mouth she felt another finger easily slid into her, her body arching off the bed in response. They broke apart to breath. Their eyes locked and in that moment Holly added a third finger. "Come for me Min, show me what I do to you."_

_In that split second she lost her resolve to contain the building pressure. Holly's fingers were clamped indie her spasming body, her back arched, her heart rate sored and from the depths of her soul she screamed Holly's name in final completion. _

Had anyone been in the immediate vicinity of Minerva McGonagall's chambers as she woke from the dream, they would have sworn they heard a scream.

"HERMIONE"


	19. Shameful Confessions

A/N: another little snippet for you all to enjoy. As per usual I don't own them I just play with them from time to time. Hope you enjoy.

"Min she is but a young girl. How can you be thinking of her like this?"

Never had Minerva heard such pity in the voice of the man she called her best friend, her oldest friend and at times her only friend. Yet she felt more shame in revealing the truth to the man than he could ever place upon her. How could this have happened?

The echo in her empty chest had rung through her ears for a lifetime and yet here she was beginning to feel again. Everything that had happened in her life had not prepared her for this eventuality.

Minerva sighed her defeat, "I know… I know…" another wave of shame washed over her as she felt the current pulling her under. Drowning in the depths of disgust at what she was feeling.

"Her eyes Albus, I cannot see anything other than her eyes when she's in a room, I fear the my heart will explode it beats so fast. The minute her hand jumps into the air and I know I'm going to here her voice again my heart beats so fast I it feels as though it could single headedly power the wards to this school." As her speech concluded her head was lowered to look at the floor.

Albus had seen it coming, for a long time would be an understatement. He had watched his best friend fall in a matter of days for the brightest witch of her age. However he had never expected Minerva to relate the two before Hermione had reached her fifth year. He never expected the young witch to worm her way into the place she had left in Minerva's heart so many years ago. He hadn't expected Minerva to remember ever little thing about Holly 50 years on, and yet here he was being told that Minerva herself was as concerned as he was about the ramifications of the situations.

He was snapped from his thoughts by a quiet sob from the seat across from him. He had not heard such a dejected sound since the day Hermione had left, the heart wrenching sobs that the fragile girl had erupted with in his office. The sobs that had broken her in so many ways. And here she was, sat in the same chair with the same defeated look. It was like a little bit of history repeating and it broke his heart.

If any one of the past, present or future students of Hogwarts had been privy to this sight not one of them would have believed their eyes. The great Minerva McGonagall did not have emotions. She was not the kind of person to be dealing with maters of the heart, let alone have one. She was an old spinster for a reason, right? As if any of them would know the intimate knowledge of her deepest desires. There were three people in the world that knew the real Minerva, one was sitting across from her planning his next move, the other had been lost for generations.


End file.
